Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Running from the Graveyard

I no longer load up WOW as a matter of habit. These days its other things. I play some Get Hostile. It is based on a game I loved in my youth called Acquire. It's quick . . . in and out in under 10 minutes, unless I play with humans and then it's about a half hour commitment. I am rated about as low as you can be . . . regardless, it's a pleasurable passage of minutes.

I had supper with the gods this week. Hall and Clive and . . . well . . . my brother Twink. I got called "Uncle" by Akmalla. It was a pretty amazing time for me, though I could not but feel a bit out of place. All of them are so authentic and real. I never doubt them and am honestly proud to be in all their company.

And that is the point of this post . . . the distance from the graveyard to resurrection. Hallgrima posts very academically. I always enjoy and ponder over them. DoubleE posts not near enough, yet he is one of the best writers I know. And me? I always try to post as close to the bone as I am able. I don't expect my posts to be taken as academic or as anything other than as authentically emotional as I can muster. I'm not sure if that is what Hall' meant for this blog, but it is what I have done.

I fear they occasionally fall into the 'dear diary' category, but that is never my intent. I have tried to capture my emotions as I have experienced the game. Now, I'm done with the game for a spell . . . until an event or expansion or a call to arms. I feel VERY old in the game. I've forgotten more about WOW than I now know. My function now is no longer peer, but . . . take me off the shelf and dust me off and point me in a direction.

I log on occasionally to farm for gold to be sent to my nephew and niece. I know Twink occasionally inhabits me to make a pot or two. These days, I'm just a conduit for others. I'm a tool to be taken off the shelf when needed . . . and ONLY when needed. Otherwise, I just rest easy on the shelf with all the other tools.

I don't really like WOW. What I like . . . what I love . . . are my relationships in WOW. Before, it was Planetside. Though I liked Planetside better than WOW, still . . .it was my relationships with Hardboot and Killaton that brought me back. When I log into wow and see Hall, Clivfe, Twink, Aka' or a dozen others . . . I feel a real sense of joy. When they whisper me asking me to do this or that . . . I feel pride that I am of use. In the end, that is all I have ever wanted to be . . . of use.

The rest of my family in WOW have not led the singular existence I have. They have explored other identities. From Priest to Warlock and from Warlock to Hunter and from Druid to . . . what the hell is Yojimbo? Rogue? Regardless, they have found ways to be "other". Me? I am a dwarf warrior . . . generous and gracious and . . . well . . . on the top shelf. Take me down as you need. Use me as you need. Break the glass in case of emergency. I have served my purpose and am satisfied.

There is still more to do. Hall and Clive have not seen the backside of some of the instances. I hope that we can find a way to resolve that. Twink will have to join us . . . priest he is, regardless of protest. There are quests and gold to secure for my new 'niece' Akmalla. Funny thing about titles . . . they bring with them responsibility. Spending a year calling Dr. Riel "Madre" taught me that. This isn't the beginning of the end, just the end of the beginning.

I expect someday and somewhere . . . in another form . . . we'll stand side-by-side again with all the wonder we once had in our teens in WOW. There are more virtual landscapes to actually experience. We will eventually be young again and then old and then young. We'll live our lives over and over until we no longer want to run back from the graveyard.

3 comments:

  1. I almost want to take this one down and reword and rework it. You either get polemics or poetry from me these days.

    There was a much better post I was trying to write, but this wasn't it. Yet, let it stay to remind me to try and stay on the point next time.

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  2. It's Akkie, here. Very well written, better then the buffoons I call classmates could write. Your opinions are insightful to me, because it is an interesting concept to be a 'tool'. I have a question though...why hold on to that one identity/avatar? Is it that you wish to simply be a tool and nothing more, or that you are satisfied and you would like to remain that way? Perhaps you would loathe to do "n00bie quests" or bother leveling all that way up again....now that you've "been there, done that". I would love to see the real answer in your words one of these days.

    -Cranking up the Electronics,
    Akmalla/Flinty

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  3. A good question, my friend. I suppose it is I like being a tool. Yet, more than that Viamedia is a piece of me and I've lost too many through the years. I like that he is there, as I would be, for his friends and . . . well . . . that his is so damned uber! There is a game grammer and at some point you kind of get it . . . and get bored with it. I've warred and worried and wandered and they can add another ten levels, but it'll be ten levels of the same. Except for the social interaction, it's all just a rearrangement of familiar blocks.

    So, you're not only going to be cooler than me, but smarter too? Darn!

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